But it was clear to me that Jenny’s mum had no intention of revealing what we had been up to. One night though Natasha came to me. I was awake. At first I thought it was Jenny. It was late at night. But I realised it was her mum. She sat on the side of my bed. “You a hurting my feelings” she whispered. “How is that?” I asked. “You so cruel. You just ignore me” She put on a hurt voice and gave me a light slap on the hand. “What happened between us was a mistake”, I said to her. “See how cruel you are!” she said, getting a bit agitated. Then she began to cry. I tried to shush her but she wouldn’t calm down. She kept saying what a monster I was and that if only I would show a little warmth to her now and then it would keep her happy. I was scared that Jenny would hear the fuss and come through and it would all come out. There was only one solution. I lifted the duvet and she took the invitation with a bit of a sniffle and I felt her hot little body. It’s funny, I thought, the way the beauty one lives with, over time, becomes the measure of attractiveness. ‘What?’ She doesn’t like to be on show. ‘Just thinking that you’re more beautiful every day.’ ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t tell you, then.’ ‘Tell me what?’ I wanted to hear keep hearing her voice as I lay in the bed and breathed in the scent of our sex. ‘Pam and I have decided to let you off the leash just once.’ Pam was Tracy’s special buddy. She was fifteen years older than my wife and something of a confidant aunt without the baggage of being f****y. She lived alone and had for a long time. Trace saw her at least twice a week. They spoke on the phone between times. Pam was French and wore the plain high hemmed black dresses I imagined all French waitresses wore. Even passing fifty her legs suited them. The temptation to see what I might see each time she sat was almost irresistible. One time she locked herself out of her place. She rang our place. Trace was out but I drove over.
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